Oceanship
by Lingering Vermin
Summary: As happy as Kurt can find himself to be, everything will soon change and his world is about to turn completely around.
1. Chapter 1

I'm not even sure if is worth uploading, but I'm getting really desperate for some kind of feedback. And since I'm pretty okay with this fic, I felt like taking the step and upload some of the story.

Pairing: Klaine

Rating: I really have no idea...

As mentioned earlier, then feedback is like heaven's gift to me. So if you liked, enjoyed, whatever, then I would love you mountain high and river deep if you'd leave some sort of comment. Also, if I should continue this please let me know! But if that's the case, you should know that the fic won't be Klaine, but turn into Kurtbastian.

Note: This was written before Kurt's decline letter from NYADA.

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It smelled, even _tasted _of summer in the Lima Park, but no one dared to take a walk due to the drizzle from the sky. An opportunity Kurt Hummel and his dear Blaine Anderson couldn't refuse. Of course they were openly gay and all, but none of them felt safe enough to literally kiss on the street. And having the Park for themselves was also kind of nice; Kurt felt all alone in the world with Blaine beside him. It was summer, everything was in blossom, warm and even the dark clouds over the sky couldn't change that. Oh yes, Kurt loved this weather and so did Blaine; this was romantic. They walked slowly beside each other, holding hands with their fingers entangled while talking about random things. The tree crowns above them waved mildly in the warm summer breeze. Today was the day after graduation.

"Oh I love you so."  
Kurt blinked shortly by the sudden change of subject from goat cheese to I love you. A smile almost instantly broke onto Kurt's lips and he moved closer with a sigh. Gently he wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck, hugging him. The touch was immediately responded and Kurt allowed himself to bury his face by Blaine's collarbone. It was if time had stopped; they just stood there, hugging, without saying anything at all. Kurt had never felt so happy in a despairing time. After NYADA, after Rachel's leave (though he'd see her soon enough), knowing that he and Blaine would be apart the next year, and yet everything was blown away by this hug.  
When they parted, Blaine leaned in to kiss Kurt and was gladly granted access. Kurt smiled in the kiss, making them part, but only to exchange a few brief kisses.  
"Do you remember that promise ring I gave you last Christmas?" Blaine asked as they started to walk again (Kurt hadn't even noticed they'd stopped walking).  
"Of course I do! I'm actually wearing it right now" Kurt lifted his free hand so Blaine could glance at the ring he'd made for Kurt.  
"I need to talk to with you" Blaine sighed and stopped once more receiving a frowned glance from Kurt, who also stopped with a nervous "okay..?"  
"I know that you're optimistic about New York and we'll keep in contact, but I just can't believe it."  
Blaine could just have hit him instead, "What are you talking about…?" Kurt normally hated when his voice turned weak, insecure and high pitched, but right now he didn't even take notice of it. The only thing that caught his eyes were Blaine.  
"I know what I promised you, but I can't keep that promise" Blaine lowers his glance, "Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't love you and that you've done something wrong-"  
"Then why are you telling me this?" it was nothing but a mere, angst whisper.  
Blaine glanced up through his eyelashes with an apologetic, hurt look in those golden amber eyes Kurt loved so much, "Have you never heard of letting go of what you love?"  
Kurt could barely hear what Blaine was saying. The tears welled up in his eyes, making his vision blurry, his nose tighten and his head spin. The gentle touch of Blaine's hands on his waist and his forehead against his own only rushed the tears that now bathed his cheeks in warm streams. This comfort was supposed to make him happy, but it hurt. For the first time after they'd tangled themselves together for over a year ago, it hurt to be with Blaine.  
"I'm sorry Kurt."  
Kurt was now sure that slow-motion was invented; everything had seem so slow, foggy, like a faint dream, but by that last whisper, those three last words, reality seemed to come back at him. And with reality came all the adrenaline feelings like panic. "No, no no no no. B- Blaine you can't go.." Kurt's voice was trembling and he was looking at Blaine with wild, wide open eyes.  
"Shh-"  
"No.. You can't.. Leave me" Kurt breathed heavily, slowly, but his heart was racing as he clenched the other boy's shirt tightly in his hands; no way he'd ever let him leave,  
"Kurt-"  
"No..!"  
"Kurt, look at me."  
Blaine's calm voice mad Kurt stare at him with an ocean of emotions battling behind them; anxiety, panic, confusion, despair, sadness, frankness, anger.  
"One day, you'll find a man who can keep that promise for you."  
Kurt instantly shook his head and started to frankly mutter 'no' on repeat, clinging desperately to Blaine's half soaked shirt with his tears dropping from his eyes.  
"I love you more than I can bear, baby, but that is why I'm letting you go free-"  
"What did I do? P- please I can change! I'll dump New York and s- stay at my dad a- and Carol, and we can see each other still-"  
"Kurt it's not you" Blaine moved his hands from the shaky lips up to hold Kurt's head as he leaned in, kissing the trembling, tearstained pair of pale Rosa lips. Two hands closed around his wrist, trembling and weak; he'd never seen Kurt like this before and it tore him apart.  
But Kurt just kept crying into the kiss, not knowing right from wrong anymore; yes he gave into the kiss and it only made it hurt even more. But all of that didn't matter, if he could just kiss Blaine one last time. And he was hoping, clinging to the desperate hope that Blaine was just messing around, that this was just a dream. It felt like a nightmare, a horror movie, like the clouds had turned darker, choking the last faint sun that managed to warm through the clouds. All of this was something Kurt unconscious made up in his head because this situation was something he'd never been prepared for. A string of salvia connected their mouths as Blaine broke apart from the trembling one with the chapped lips. At any other time Kurt would have killed himself for looking like this; eyes swollen, still crying salty tears that mixed with snot, his lips all dry and chapped, trembling and his clothes all sticky, not because of the drizzle, but because of the cold sweat that now covered his body. He couldn't register anything else than Blaine's heavy breathing tickling his skin and his hands still holding his head in them. And oh he clung to Blaine's wrist, absorbing the breath because it was the only thing that actually made him sure that Blaine still hadn't left his side.  
"Baby you'll be fine. And no way I'll let you quit New York. It's your life and you shall not give up on it" Blaine give him another gentle kiss as the first real raindrops dropped on them. Why did it have to rain? Oh why?  
Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck, hugging himself tight up against the warm body as the rain soaked them and oh how Kurt just wished the rain would wash the agony, the fear, the anxiety and all bad in this world away. Strip them from everything so there were nothing left but just Kurt and Blaine. Like a faint hope of survival in a horror movie Blaine's arms now rested gentle on his back, holding the sobbing diva close to him.  
"It hurts" that was the only thing Kurt could manage to whisper before sobbing again, "I- it hurts, Blaine."  
"Shh, you'll be okay" Blaine whispered in his ear trying to sooth the crying boy even though he was crying himself. But the rain can hide your tears if you want to.  
"I don't want New York o- or NYADA or f- fashion or anything if I don't have you" Kurt begged for his life now, "D- don't leave me. Blaine I'll do a- anything for you! P- please stay w- with me.. I.. I can change!"  
Blaine pulled away from the frank boy to hold his head again; for a long time they just stared at each other like the world was on pause. But it certainly wasn't. Inside Kurt a war was going on. He stared at Blaine, taking in everything; his amber eyes were dark brown in the dim noon, his tan skin shimmering from the water, his black hair sticking to his face. His tears were mixed with the raindrops than ran in streams over his face; it almost hurt even more to watch Blaine cry.  
Blaine leaned in and placed a long kiss on Kurt's soaked lips and as he'd feared, this was the final goodbye; "I have to go."  
"No…" Kurt shook his head, but Blaine had already lowered his hands from his face and was turning around to walk away and as Kurt watched him getting smaller and smaller as he moved further and further away, he wanted to scream out the lyric that circulated in his mind '_Baby please come back, it wasn't you, baby it was me, maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems, maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano all I know is that I love you too much to walk away' _

"Kurt you're soaked!"  
Kurt barely reacted to Carole's surprised words when she saw him nor when she led him to the bathroom. His mind was repeating the same scene over and over again, but he wasn't crying anymore. The only two reasons he could think of was that his eyes were either too numb or else he'd already spilled all his tears. With sore movements he started to strip himself as if someone had beaten him up and it was first when he was all dry and in clean clothes again that he reached for his iPhone in his soaked pants. When he had it in his hands he bumped against the wall with his back and slid down it to sit on the cooling, white tails. It took him less than 5 seconds to dial in the only number he could think off in his current state of delusion and agony, a well-known number and with trembling hands he lifted the phone to his ear. Each ring was like knifes in his head as if he was suffering from a really heavy hangover. When the fourth ring passed, the other end was picked up.

"It's Blaine, who am I talking to?"

No Kurt's reasons had been wrong, so fucking wrong; he could still cry. The tears rolled eagerly over his cheeks when reality hit him, hard and merciless; Blaine had already deleted Kurt's number.

"Anyone there?"

The moment later Kurt found himself hanging up on Blaine and tip dangerously forward, just to dig his head into the soft, round carpet, that was placed on the middle of the bathroom floor, as he allowed the salty tears to sooth his heart and maltreat his face. He couldn't remember the journey back from the Park except it had been cold and lonesome. The weather outside had turned to a raging storm, but it was still hot outside and Kurt caught himself in thinking paranoid that it was a sign, like an open wound; fresh and painful, just like their breakup. For how long he'd been inside the bathroom was also oblivious to him and it was if he'd lost all sense of all time.

"Kurt?"

Kurt shut his eyes open when his father's voice seethed through the door and forced himself to give a fast, "I'm okay" before standing up and dry his face in the nearest towel. But God what a mess he was. He could feel the tears still sting and he knew that when he came to his room he had to cry out until he couldn't anymore. He had to let go until there was nothing left.  
"Kurt!" Burt called out once more and Kurt fast rubbed his aching temples before turning to the door. With shaking hands he unlocked the door, trying desperately to fiddle up and excuse for his sore look. But when Kurt stepped out, head to the floor, Burt just looked at him before asking with hesitant voice, "You okay kiddo?"  
Kurt just nodded, "Fine" but oh how he was far from fine as he strolled to the stairs and already halfway crying silently again. Kurt kept his head down as if he feared Burt would bump into him in any given minute and demand him to look up. But it wasn't Burt he shove into at the top of the stairs, but Finn. Kurt felt balance tip dangerously and his body fall backwards when Finn fast grabbed his arm, dragging him away from the brim; some luck it is to have a massive quarterback as your brother sometimes.  
"Dude I'm so sorry are you o….. kay… " Finn stopped his apologizing voice when Kurt looked up at him and to judge from his light staring face, Kurt figured out that he was still a mess.  
"Dude, what happened?" Finn asked a bit too loud and Kurt hushed him instantly. Finn almost dodged at the words, but apart him being low IQ he was looking truly concerned now. Kurt just shook his head and when Finn gave him a pleading questioning look the diva gave a sigh and looked down. This would hurt.  
"Blaine broke up…" as predicted his stomach flipped and his heart instantly pounded faster. His eyes released a new flow of salty tears to maltreat his face further and Kurt had an undying lust to rip out his cramping heart and throw it into a volcano to get rid of this pain, or worse, give it to Blaine while shouting cries about how much he loves him. Kurt had already realized that he was not mentally capable to say Blaine's name out loud, as his name now circulated in his head with a thousand voices echoing at the same time as a choir, '_Blaine Blaine Blaine Blaine Blaine' _again and again. It made him sick and he had to use all of his self-control not to scream shut up and punch the nearest thing (Finn or the wall) while crying like a madman.  
Kurt was ripped from his thoughts when two strong arms suddenly held him in a calming hug. You could say much about Finn, but he was far from a bad guy. Long ago Kurt would have died to be in his arms like this, but now he was glad that Blaine was his boyfriend and not Finn. Fuck Kurt, not was, but were! The reminder made Kurt's eyes well and he wriggled himself loose from the grip, "S- sorry, I just… Don't want to stain your shirt."  
"Dude it's cool-"  
"No, I don't want to alarm our parents. Not yet…"  
Finn seemed to accept the reason and as he, after a gentle comforting hand on his shoulder and "just tell me if you need anything", rushed down stairs Kurt could only hope that Finn would keep his mouth shut. Kurt sniffled shortly as he too rushed, but towards his room instead of downstairs. He made sure to lock the door behind him (after Blaine and his first time Kurt had, embarrassed and all flushed, insisted to get a lock on his door. He wouldn't want anyone, last Burt, to storm into his room if him and Blaine were doing "inappropriate" stuff) and walk to the bed, collapsing face first into the soft madras. He tilted his head a bit to look over the pillow edge and grabbed his iPod beside it. He already knew what song he needed to cry out to. As the gentle voice reached his ears, the salty drops increased and sobs throbbed in his throat. Kurt strained his muscles as he for a second tried to keep the sobs back, but it just increased the pain in his heart. He dug deeper into the pillow, biting the soft fabric as he allowed the sobs to pass. Sobs that could break ones heart and the diva pressed his face deeper into the pillow, screaming out Blaine's name while pulling his hair merciless; why did it hurt so much? Why did Blaine pierce his heart like this and with the sharpest knife ever known? Kurt curled up in weak cramps and he shoved his hands up to his neck, pushing his head down so he was now a human ball. The song was already on replay so Kurt didn't have to worry about changing the song every third minute. He could barely feel the slaps he provided his cheeks; he was acting in a senseless mist of sorrow and agony. The diva tossed and turned his body around the bed until the nausea made him fall to the floor and stumble his way to the bathroom just across his own room. He barely managed to lock the door before his stomach contracted making him fall to his knees and vomit into the toilet. He couldn't hear, see, smell or taste, only feel the throbbing, choking feeling of his last meal leaving him. Kurt had no idea how long he'd been lying on his knees with his head dumped to the edge of the toilet bowl with heavy eyelids, but a sudden knock at the door kicked him back to reality. He fought his way back up onto his feet and with tearstained, numb face and empty mind he flushed the toilet. Diving down to the sink to let the cold water clear his mouth and wash his face got him a bit more woken up. And when the third impatient knock reached his ears he knew it was his key to get back to his room.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay this chapter is far from as long as the previous. But whatever.

Songs in this chapter can be found in the bottom

* * *

He didn't even remember how he'd ended up on this nightclub he couldn't remember the name of, or why he was here at all, yeah right now he could barely remember his own name. The alcohol sure soothed his mind to the oblivious and even though the beat from the big speakers was way too loud, he barely heard anything. He could feel the vibes and pounds in his chair and slowly dropped his hands from his lap to clench around the metal chair. The beat felt nice and fast, but steady too, pulsing through his arms and shook him deeply into his core. Waves of heat rapidly struck him, but little did he sense as the alcohol had taken all control of him. The crowd of dancing bodies not far from him merged together to a black substance and it was impossible for him to part them at all from each and every one. The beat sounded familiar and he hummed carefree with it.  
"Girls girls girls, I just can't say no. Never see them coming, I just watch them go" he sang lowly for himself to the Conor Maynard number. It wasn't exactly his type of music, but Blaine had always been a fan of the top 3's, top 10's, 30's, 40's and top 100's on iTunes. The beat soon was to die out, but was instantly replaced by a new song that too sounded familiar, but it took him longer time to remember the lyrics than before. It was a Norwegian song, and as far as Kurt knew, he'd never heard it on any American music programs, but Blaine had accidently found it when he stumbled upon a top whatever from Europe on Spotify on Kurt's computer one day. Interested in what those Europeans were listening to they started the playlist and around the first ten, the current song was placed.  
Kurt rocked his head while humming the beat, waiting for the lyrics trying to sooth the stinging pain in his heart, but seemed like the alcohol took care of that for him. When he ordered the first drink he'd been nervous that getting drunk would make his pain and sadness flash and make him cry loudly in public, but to Kurt's luck it affected him just the opposite, soothing and making him forget the pain.  
"I don't wanna be that city boy running timeless streets again. I don't wanna be that city boy stumbling down the streets my friend."  
Kurt stopped himself from thinking further and allowed himself to be sucked into the song, rhythm and the atmosphere around him. He slid from the high bar chair, dumping on his feet and started to cross the floor and as he did, he imagined himself doing a music video to the song; strolling across the floor, slightly bended forward, searching the room full of drunken adults and fake ID teenagers with big eyes, as if he was in a war zone trying to escape. The thought made him smile wide as he joined the dancing crowd, singing along, probably as one of few who knew the lyrics.  
"Underneath my skin there's an eagle. Underneath this these clouds there's an ego. Underneath my skin there's an eagle, underneath this-"  
Kurt's voice was muted by the loud music itself, but heck if he cared. The booze was might soothing him, but it also made him blind to the danger of this place. And he'd ended up right in the predators cave. Kurt's confidence had never been high, and after the first Valentine's Day with Blaine (when the younger warbler had been obsessed with Jeremiah) it had hit rock bottom. But when their ways finally merged and they walked the same path, hand in hand, his self-esteem had increased rapidly. Blaine was so good for him, and to him; Kurt had never felt better in anyone's company and every second was a joy, every compliment made his self-esteem increase more than it had in his whole lifetime. Right until the day Blaine chose to untangle their fingers, release his hand from Kurt's and walk away, splitting the double road into two separated. And therefore he was sure no one would care to look at him and actually find him hot. He didn't like himself, so why would others?  
Oblivious to the fact the he was hot, really (really) hot actually, the glances from the men closest to him stayed unnoticed. He moved his hips perfectly along with the heavy bass beat, singing along and moving the rest of his body in perfect balance with his hips and booty. The song changed giving Kurt only a few seconds to catch his breath and find his stance on the floor to avoid stumble and fall face first to the floor. The new song was unfamiliar with him and it was first when the song had played for around a minute he realized that he actually understood some of the words. He came with the conclusion that the song was Spanish. He spoke French (perfectly) and those two languages were actually rather close to each other and thanks to Santana's dirty spoken Spanish in the choir room more quite a few times he was able to understand the lyrics – or at least some of them. Maybe it wasn't the right translation of the song, but from what Kurt's sloppy, drunken mind could conclude from the simple, repeating stream of words the main lyric was to be, 'Shake your tiny ass.'  
And so Kurt decided to do, because if there was something he was good at, it was shaking his ass. The beat was easy to follow, just like any other typical pop song this century, only this time he made sure to move his ass more than his crotch as he'd done during last song. And this time he noticed quite a few staring at him, which made him smile wide.  
Sober Kurt was a hopeless romantic who now and then wouldn't mind getting to bed with someone, but apparently drunk Kurt was like Brittany; a dirty stripper type, without the stripper title though (enough booze would probably make him strip and take a turn on a pole). The white, way to tight skinny jeans with high waist, that gave him a bit too big thigh gab, was sticky to his skin and the heat was choking so Kurt's black shirt, stuffed down in his pants, was now three buttons open exposing a bit of his chest and neck. His sleeves too were rolled to his elbows so his forearms were all naked. He could barely breathe in the suffocating heat and the tight belts across his chest and over his shoulders only seemed to increase the pressure, but Kurt enjoyed the tight heaviness on his chest, making him breath heavy. His hair, as the only thing, was still in order, but Kurt had on purpose sprayed it more than usual to keep it in place, all night. His hair had always been first priority when it came to looking good.  
When the song shifted he stopped with a half spin, ready to take a break from the ass shaking. He needed another drink as the booze was leaking from his mind and he was already starting to feel uncomfortable to be as exposed as he was, embarrassed of himself dancing like that and embarrassed that he was here all alone.  
He wanted to get back in the mental zone of comfort the alcohol seemed to provide him with, the confident zone where he could allow himself to act sexy without regretting and care about others opinions. The skinny jeans made him wiggle his ass and the more sober Kurt was glad he, in last minute of despairing decision, chose to wear a throat tight necklace with a round, but flat green stone from the exotic Latin America. At least that gave a touch of masculine, along with his exposed forearms and chest, as his pants was far from that being all high waists and making him sway with his ass like a girl. But Kurt had to admit that wiggling his ass in public like a tranny was way better than being at home singing along to _This is not the end _while crying and sobbing so hard that he choked at least half of the words, all because of Blaine. _Shit_. He was thinking of Blaine (fuck damn kitten shit) again which he weren't supposed to. Not here, not now.  
Kurt already felt the sting of the betraying tears in his eyes and rushed to the bar. When it was about Blaine his mind seemed to be driving on ecstasy, reliving _everything _that had happened between them on record time just to remind him of the reality; that Blaine was no longer here.  
Without further thinking about his economy and border of how much booze his body really could take (he'd been drunk very, _very_ few times in his life) he ordered two Smirnoff Vodka shots and one shot of Jägermeister. The three shots were gone immediately as the tears was stinging dangerously now with his nose and throat tightening. _No! _he would _not _think of Blaine, he would _not _let him destroy this evening. Kurt forced himself to push Blaine out of his mind and surrendered to the pleasant burn in his throat and growing warmth in his stomach. He was quick to get all dizzy again and smiled as he fell back into the aura of safety, a bit too much confidence and Blainelessness.  
"Wow babe, you sure hit the highroad" warm breathe tickled Kurt's sensitive ear making his lips brush out in a smile and turn the bar's spin chair to look at his approach. What a sight. Kurt hadn't even taken the time to worry if it was some old perverted daddy, because the boy in front of him was a beauty and Kurt could already tell that this boy was his new conquest. And yes, Kurt would get him to bed – the sooner the better.  
"I'd tap that ass at any time" he grinned again with a slithering grin which reminded Kurt of a villain.  
"Hmm, really?" Kurt dragged the word in a tease as he circulated his finger round one of the shot glass edges, with way too enchanting voice and a pair of naughty eyes.  
The boy just grinned wider and bended forward and Kurt caught the scent of expensive cologne, vodka and something _dragging_, "Really, _really _much."  
Kurt strained himself and too bended a bit forward to whisper in the stranger's ear, "Your lucky night then."  
Everything went pretty fast from then. The two of them ended up on the dance floor, dancing closely (Kurt shake and grind his as against the other boy's crotch) to DJ got us falling in love again, For your entertainment, Rain over me and a few other songs, but he didn't pay too much attention to the music, but to the hookup closely to him. Afterwards they ended up drinking even more before leaving both laughing and flirting.  
How they got to order a taxi and even pay for it was a mystery to Kurt, but the mystery was soon forgotten. Kurt was no longer paying attention to his surroundings, partly because of the alcohol slowing his senses (he was past the safe line of drinking now – the alcohol was now playing fully on all his five senses) making everything a mess of colors, sounds and scents and partly because of the ever so beautiful boy, growing prettier and prettier each second, close to him. He didn't care to take in the look of the house he was living in, only eyes for the bedroom and before he knew it they were in a giant bed, kissing heated and touching heavily, rough and so _fucking_ good.

* * *

Conor Maynard - Cant say no

Donkeyboy - Cityboy (Yes I used this to promote it because it's awesome 'n' deserves more views)

Tacabro - Tacata

Usher ft. Pitbull - DJ Got us falling in love again

Adam Lambert - For your entertainment

Pitbull ft Marc Anthony - Rain over me

Bonus: Carly Rae Jepsen - Call me maybe (Because I love this song. End of story, case closed)


End file.
